Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
