Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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