For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize