we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
