butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I think my moral compass just broke
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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