No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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