I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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