It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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