Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dicks are not precious.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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