You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
