well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
