so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
be right there i have to get my cape
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
