That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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