what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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