So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
