her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
