I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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