belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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