I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
