I'd wear matching sweaters with you
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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