you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I need moral support for this bender
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
