I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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