Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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