he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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