So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
