all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
