dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
