I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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