Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
