"it" just moved
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
