I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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