So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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