I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
