What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
