i don't like sucking hair
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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