Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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