oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
