would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize