What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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