I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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