I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
