in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
