So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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