"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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