i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
