it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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