We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
