It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's blow job season.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
