Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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