i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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