sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Randomize
