Just fell off a train. Bad.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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