I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
