you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
