Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
