You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
