I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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