Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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