I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
