He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
