It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize