I wish i was in the wii world.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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