NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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