I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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