No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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