dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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