Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.

(1-662): View more from Mississippi

I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.

Fav 31 8386 1992
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(615): View more from Tennessee

im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.

Fav 9 5707 1402
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(218): View more from Minnesota

he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this

Fav 17 5280 1514
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name

Fav 4 2873 1176
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(425): View more from Washington

I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.

Fav 3 1027 680
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(428): View more from

Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.

Fav 2 773 505
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(503): View more from Oregon

I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.

Fav 6 646 1529
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(310): View more from California

The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.

Fav 0 53 6
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(630): View more from Illinois

I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink

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