I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
