Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize