I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
