I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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