She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
