the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
