listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Your cock deserves a montage
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
