Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My dick has a subreddit
i need some magic done to my vagina
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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