You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
