I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize