Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
