I got chris browned last night
Non-Jews are for practice
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
